How many times have you said - "And, what else is happening in your life" or "What else is happening in life?" , or in Hindi - "Aur bata, kya chal raha hai?"
If the answer is "quite often" - then I would like to urge you all to please shun this habit - this may subtley result in people shunning you as a bad communicator!
Psychologically, people while conversion, like to be put up at ease and not confronted. And this small question puts every person in exactly that. Te person might be in stress / frustated, about to end his/ her life but does not want to tell you, so is pissed at your asking - "So, what else?"
And Beware, if you use this sentence in front of a girl you are trying to woo - this sentence could be the end of it all! This also might mean, that since you are such a bore, you can' think. Your girl might just paint you as a person incapable of having interesting conversation.
Now, here is a quick solution if you suffer from this problem -
Try to be personal when you are conversing with the guy. Try to think of some personal things like...
1. To a frined when you are meeting him after years -
Oh Boy!, I still remember the day we had when we went in that party...remember?
2. To an office colleague whom you helped in finding a job for his brother -
How is your brother, is he happy in his new job?
3. When out on a first date -
Hey, you should wear this red color often, makes you look really smart!
Please don't ask "How is Life?" Again! - no body wants to answer that question, seriously!
Photo courtesy - Gettyimages.com
4 comments:
I don't quite agree.
Guess this is just another example of how we tend to believe that our personal opinion on something holds true for all people.
(Unless, of course, you've surveyed a large and appropriate sample representing "all people".)
I, for example, find it completely acceptable if someone asks me that question. I believe it's a good way to branch out the conversation. Nevertheless, I know that not everyone might think like that.
So there, that's my counter-view. Aur bata, kya chal raha hai? :p
Yes, I agree with you that is my personal opinion. his post is entirely based on whatever little (or more) experience of communication I have had of having met people of different walks of life everyday.
The key of communication is in customizing your talk.chat to the people you are talking to and asking "What else" is just indication that you are run out of any interesting thing to talk and hence asking such general thing.
Hi Anshul,
Long time since I came on your blog. I am not sure why the feedburner emails I used to get stopped.
So, what's new, How's life ;-)
:P
cheers,
-A
P.S. re-subscribed by email. Will look fwd to more updates.
P.P.S. Nice post. Will def try the red dress thing ;-)
Thanks Animesh -
I have to also cultivate habit like yours...I am just a ghost visitor and just cant manage to comment. Will try and do that.
And Yes, Thanks for subscribing :)
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